My mom

So, I've taken some time over the last month to read some of my mom's journals.  It's been fun and interesting, sad and wonderful.  A big bag of mixed emotions.  Quite amazing actually.

I started out reading journals from '85-'86. I was in 4-7th grade and clearly have memories.  It was so fun to read journals from her perspective.  It was interesting to read about my trip to Denmark when I was nine and realize that she thought the trip would simply build character and a love for my ancestors. It is something I teased her about until the day she died!  It was also fun to read that my mom had a bit of a crush on one of our friends in Hawaii who actually wanted to marry her simply for a green card.  She turned him down and I'm grateful.  I guess 8 years old was a little young for her to be sharing her love life with me!  Phew!

On Sunday I had a pull and the got the guts to begin reading the big black journal!  It covers time from September '74 to the end of 1978.  Prior to my existence, my grandpa's death, my birth, my mom and dad loving one another, my mom and dad not loving each other, my dad leaving my mom, my mom raising a baby on her own, my dad dying and my mom living her life until I was age four.  What a whirl wind read-a-thon for me and my emotions.  I didn't cry once, and I only got depressed when it was over!

I think I learned a lot.  My mom loved my dad and vice versa.  My mom was a different person prior to having me and dealing with my dad's naughtiness.  My mom cared for my dad when he died, but wasn't in love with him anymore.  The church really was supportive of her after his passing and his leaving us.  My mom loved the support of her family.  My grandma Romer came to visit and stay with us a lot that first year of my life. Reading about Grandpa Romer's death reminded me a lot of my Uncle Neil's passing.  I'd forgotten that Merle was on her mission and then came to live with us.  At the end of the journal Leslie was moving in!  I learned that my mom didn't really want to work and was "finished" with nursing.  She wanted to write!  Well, she ended up doing both.  It was interesting to see where she wanted to be in her journal and where she actually ended up.  She met most of her goals I think.  I learned that she had to work to get a temple recommend before my dad left her and then she never looked back going twice a month.  She was a lot stronger than I had anticipated reading in the journal.  I thought it would be an awful read of sadness and misery.  Rather is was a pleasant, learning read.  I'm sooooo grateful for it. She also recorded that my in-laws, Joe and Kathy were at my dad's funeral!

So, my message to you....write in your journal!  You never know how much someone else will need your words.  I had no idea that I would need her words so much.  I'm a bit saddened because she talked about writing in journals a lot and the importance of it, yet she doesn't have as many journals as I think she should have.  I think I've read most of them and the rest I have are just a few pages filled out here and there.  So....write in your journals!  Make some kind of record for your children.  I know that I've appreciated it tremendously.  It's been a blessing.  And sometimes a headache!

Anybody know a VieLee?  I'd like to talk with her and show her how I made it!  Just sayin'!

Just had to report.  That's all.  Love, EM