Ethan and Esse

Long, amazing story. 

   Ethan is doing a great job as a referee. His best money makers are obviously tournaments. He can work about seven games in one day! So, whenever possible, I hook him up with tournaments. Usually they're younger kids too which is perfect for him. 

   The first weekend in October he had no games because of a CSA recreation tournament and games were actually being played at local fields. He was assigned four games and then a referee went home sick, so they called to ask me if he'd ref two more. He was working, thinking that he'd like the money, I said yes. He wasn't very happy with the choice I made because he really wanted to go to the Nuf Said party at the same time. Once he was mad at me and I explained he could still make the party, he finished the last two games. 

    I went to pick him up and he looked angry! So angry! I thought he was still mad about having the extra two jobs. He got in the car and burst into tears and cried and cried for about ten minutes before he could tell me what happened. Then, I didn't get the whole gist of the story until even the next day! 

Back up, prior to finding out he had two extra games, he told me there was this nice guy that was helping him throughout some of the earlier games. He just mentioned it in passing. I didn't think anything of it until I learned more on Sunday. 

    Finally, Ethan calmed down enough to tell me that his last game was Rapids vs. Casa. Casa has a major reputation of not being a kind club. Their players are aggressive and dangerous and their parents are vocal and sometimes rude. Apparently, the parents got really out of control and became super mean to Ethan. Mean enough that he's in my car saying he is never going to ref again. I didn't really know what to do but listen and love and get to the Nuf Said party which changed his attitude in an instant. 

    I thought we were done and we moved onto Sunday! But Sunday, he was texting with someone and finally told me that the CSA referee people were texting him and had been calling him on Saturday afternoon to make sure he was okay. Apparently, Ethan went to turn in his score cards and one of the ladies noticed something was wrong. He said he was fine and she pushed him and he told her how awful the fans were from Casa. She was texting him to make sure he was okay. So, I started texting her and got more information of course! 

    The Casa coaches were talked to an the spectators were excused from the tournament and not allowed to watch any more games during the tournament! Then, she went on to say just how impressed they were with Ethan and his attitude and learning and listening curve. She mentioned that a man named Esse was there helping him and he saw real potential in Ethan and everyone was so impressed and so sad that this had happened to him. We texted back and forth for a while and all I heard from them was how much they loved Ethan and I just kept telling them I was so grateful that they noticed something was wrong with him and took action. 

    The next day, I got a call from one of the CSA Ref directors just to apologize and again make sure Ethan was okay. She again explained that Esse was so impressed with Ethan and then explained who he was to me so that I would understand! He's kinda a big deal and he was there with Ethan and mentoring him all day long! 

CHICAGO (Dec. 12, 2019) – Esfandiar “Esse” Baharmast, a former referee, player, coach and current instructor who has been involved in more than a dozen World Cup tournaments and Olympic Games, has been named the 2020 winner of U.S. Soccer’s prestigious Werner Fricker Builder Award.

The Iranian-American is the second referee to be awarded U.S. Soccer’s highest honor; 2005 winner Gerhard Mengel is the other. He will be presented with the award on Feb. 15 at the 2020 U.S. Soccer Annual General Meeting in Nashville, Tennessee.

“It’s an incredible surprise and I am beyond words,” Baharmast said. “When I look at the names of the recipients of this distinguished honor, it’s a who’s who of soccer in the United States that have given so much to the game. To be mentioned in the same breath as them is both a humbling and proud moment in my life.”

The Werner Fricker Builder Award is given to an individual or group of individuals who dedicate at least 20 years of service to the sport, working to establish a lasting legacy in the history and structure of soccer in the United States. First awarded in 2002, the award recognizes those who have developed programs that will outlast their own involvement in the sport.

“We owe Esse a tremendous debt of gratitude for all he has done to grow the game in our country,” said U.S. Soccer president Carlos Cordeiro. “As someone who has held so many different roles within our sport, he reminds us that it takes highly talented individuals in all areas of the sport to make soccer in the United States what it is today. We are truly thankful for all he has contributed and continues to give to the game.”

Impressive huh!? Needless to say, CSA Referee's were impressed with Ethan all day and what an honor for him and so great for his learning curve and self worth. 

Fast forward to the next weekend...Ethan had been assigned a high level side line job and suddenly it changed to center. Didn't think anything of it until we arrived and he did his check ins and ran over to me and told me that Esse was at his game! What? And he had given him a bag of goodies. The goody bag contained an actual ref jersey from the 2019 World Cup, a USA scarf, pen and some FIFA red and yellow cards. This boy was flying high! Can you even imagine how happy he was? Anyway, as you can read below in an email, word got to Patrick, the ref assignor that Esse wanted to watch one of Ethan's games so he changed his job position and Esse was there to watch him ref! Incredible. 

During half time, Esse gave the referee's some pointers and things to look for when reffing on bigger fields. He waited for the game to end and chatted with them again. And then, he and his wife drove off in his red, BMW convertible. Everything I had read from texts to emails continued to state that they saw potential in Ethan to be an amazing ref if it's something he'd want to pursue. 

Out of something hard and rotten, good things happened. I hope this is a memory Ethan will have forever. He is an awesome ref, an awesome kid and he has so much potential. Adults everywhere see it in him, not just his mama. 

Needless to say, Ethan is still reffing and continues to grow and mature at an astounding rate. We love him and are so proud of his challenges and successes. Grateful to be a part of his life experience.