This is my fourth mothers day without my mother. Each year, I've tried to focus the day on me being a mother instead of focusing on the fact that I don't have my mom with me anymore. It's a challenge, but one I'm willing to accept simply because it "feels" better to me. It's not as painful and lonely.
This year is going to be different because Travis and I finally get to leave our children for more than six hours and we are headed to San Francisco early Sunday morning. Kathy and Reggie will be here to watch the kids.
Kedzie is a little disappointed that I won't be here for mothers day, but she'll survive, right?!
This year, I got the idea from a blog about writing my children letters and thanking them for making me a mother. I actually followed through and wrote my letters today. I thought I'd put them in here, in case my kids don't appreciate them now (lol) they may appreciate them as adults.
I love my children. I'm so grateful that I have the opportunity to be a mother on this Earth. I'm so grateful that I birthed three beautiful, healthy, intelligent, rambunctious children and was given the responsibility and opportunity of adopting one more of our Heavenly Father's children. Although motherhood is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my years, I wouldn't trade it for anything. My children and Travis are my life. Without them, I would fall into a pit of misery and depression. I can't even imagine it. These five individuals make life worth living every day. They bring me joy, fill my heart with love and give me reason to strive to be the best I can be. I do fall short, probably every day, but they love me and we don't give up on each other. I am truly blessed.
I do miss my mom, something fierce, but I continue to believe that she is helping us from the other side, more than she could have been helping us here. My heart also goes out to my little Anderson family who will be celebrating their first mothers day with our sweet Vickie. It is a hard thing that is impossible to understand. I wish I could take away their pain.
To all the mothers out there, and all those who have impacted my life as a woman. Thank you.
May 10, 2015
Dear Kedzie,
I love you so much. You made me a Mother. You gave me
the greatest gift ever by coming to my life on February 10, 2005. Thank you.
You bring me such joy. Your smile is contagious. And I
really do love snuggling with you. I'm grateful you still want too!
You are a true leader. I'm so impressed with the way
you can organize kids and get them to play. You are a great example to many
people. You love people and they know you love them. You bring light and love
into the lives of others. What a great example you are.
I'm so impressed with how much you love the Lord. You
are a missionary as you live your life, simply because you are so kind,
courageous and loving.
I'm so grateful to be your mother Kedzie Nicole. We
were meant to go through this life together. I know life is difficult and has
its many challenges, but you are one brave young woman. As long as you rely on
the Lord and stay close to your family, you will be well taken care for.
You are amazing. On this Mother's Day, I simply wanted
to say thank you for being my most amazing daughter.
Love, your mom
May 10, 2015
Ethan,
Oh how I love
you! I'm so very grateful to be your mother. I'm grateful for your love and
attention, your hugs and your willingness to help everyone.
You made me a
mother of boys. For that I am grateful. You taught me that boys are loud and
lovable and that you never know what exciting thing will happen when boys are
around.
You have so much
energy and ambition. You are going to be something amazing. Well, you already
are something amazing. You work so hard to get what you want in school and at
home. Continue to apply that energy into the things you want.
You are a leader
and an example to your brothers and so many of your friends. You choose the
right and you do things with a great smile.
I love that you
are so helpful to our family and to your teachers and friends at school. What a
wonderful talent you have in serving those around you.
You are also
skilled athletically. I love watching you play sports. You don't just sit and
let the game happen, you make the plays that make the game happen. I love the
energy you have for sports.
Thank you for
your hugs, your thank you's, your sweet nuzzles at night and your snuggles.
Thank you for choosing to come to earth and be a part of this family. Thank you
for letting me be your mom. Thank you for loving me.
I love you
Ethan. You are amazing.
Love, mom
May 10, 2015
Dear Alex,
What a wonderful
guy you are. I'm so grateful to be your mother. You bring me such joy every
single day. I love that you are the "baby" if the family. (You’re not
really a baby!) It's the perfect place for you. I love that you still need me
to hold you and give you hugs. I hope you will always know how much I love you
and how much you mean to me.
You've grown so
quickly. I guess that's what happens when you are the last child. But you are
so smart and so strong. I'm so proud of the work you have put into reading and
math this year. It's so much fun to watch you grow.
I love watching
you play sports. You are so good. You're a natural athlete. I hope you can
apply the commitment you have for sports to every aspect of your life. You'll
go far my friend.
Thank you for
coming to our family and being our last child. You have my heart. I love you so
much. Thanks for letting me be your mother. It is a blessing to me every day to
be a part of your life.
I love you Alex
Tyler. You are the best!
Love, mom
May 10, 2015
Triston,
What a privilege
it is to be your mom. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father brought you in my
life. I truly believe you belong in our family and I love you very much.
You have a
wonderful, social personality. You make us laugh and have the best smile ever.
Remember to be positive and life will be wonderful for you.
I love the way
you came into our house with so much confidence and you began working so hard
to catch up and you did it! You have worked so hard to be such a great reader,
friend and brother. You are amazing.
You are smart
and physically talented. You work hard for the things you want, and you have
proven to me that you can do whatever you set your mind too. I think that's
pretty incredible.
I love you.
Thank you for letting me be your mom. Thanks for letting me love you and for
teaching me so many things that make me a better person. Our family is complete
now that you have joined us.
I love you
Triston James.
Love, mom
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