December 31st, one year later!

I had been anticipating December 31, 2012 for about a year!  I wondered what the one year anniversary of my mom's death date would look like.  I knew that we needed to be busy and that we needed to remember her and that we did.  I'm grateful that I could plan and prepare emotionally and physically and that my family would just go along with me.

Now, this isn't to say that it was all bright and beautiful.  I have found over the last year that I can prepare for just about anything, except for when I can't!  Like Easter, the day I burst because my mom wasn't here.  Or, Saturday the 29th of December...completely unexpected to be grieving so heavily.  I figured I just hadn't thought about that day.  In retrospect, I see that it was a Saturday that my mom passed and we really didn't have much planned.  Travis was getting over being sick for the last week and all we had to do was clean up Christmas.  Bah Humbug!  First, we went to clean the church, came home and both Travis and I took an hour nap while the kids played wii and then I woke up soooo intensely angry.  It was unreal.  I didn't take it out on anyone, thankfully, I was simply angry at the world...angry, angry, angry.  It was real.

I've recently learned that rather than taking my anger and frustrations out on my kids and husband, that I should take them to the Lord.  So, I began to say a prayer.  I told my Heavenly Father how angry that I was that my mom was gone, that I had to clean, that Travis was sick and on and on and then I told my Heavenly Father how grateful I was that I had three wonderful, healthy children, the best husband, I had 37 wonderful years with a fabulous mother.  I thanked him for putting my mom and I together, we made a great team.  Within minutes, my anger was gone.  Seriously, gone.  Truly a tender mercy.

I can't remember what we did with the rest of the afternoon, but we ended the evening with the fabulous Bair Family eating dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory.  The evening ended with Jen giving me flowers and a diet coke in honor of my mom.  So thoughtful.

I also realized on Saturday that my biggest concern was "what if people don't remember my mom?"  While discussing this with our neighbor Thelma, some friends and a few of my aunties, it was made very clear to me that she is gone, but not forgotten.  No one who knew her well will ever forget her.

It was hard to not be around family to celebrate or mourn or whatever on the 31st, because people didn't know here as well her, but through good 'ol Facebook, I kept those who cared apprised of how our day went.  And it was a good one.

Flowers from Jen.  I also got a dozen, beautiful pink roses from my favorite person Travis. 

Travis really did go all out on the 31st.  He did whatever I wanted, and I simply wanted to celebrate and remember my mom.  What did she love more than McDonald's breakfast and a large diet coke?  Maybe only her grandkids!  So, we started the morning off right! 

Then, she loved to go to Chuck E Cheese's with my kids, so we did!  We were there at 

9:03 and spent $40 within an hour.  My kids were thrilled to be there and I know my 

mom would have absolutely approved! 

Following our Chuck E adventure, we hit the mall.  We always loved going to the mall together and of course we got Mrs. Fields cookies, one of her favorites.  I probably don't need to mention that there were numerous diet cokes throughout the day, do I?!  It's a given.  

We kinda tired out early, and came home to work on Christmas clean up.  Kedzie and I snuck out for about an hour to go get manicures with Erin, Amy and Mya.  It took away some of the hollow gut feeling I was beginning to have. I'm grateful for good friends.

 The kids played and we worked the evening away, and we ended the day with our countdown from 10 at 7:15p and the kids were in bed before 8!!! Travis and I made it past 10p.  

It was clearly mid-night somewhere and we were tired.  

Happy New Year!

Today was another day off, that we had to make the most of right?  We love it when dad is home to play.  We went to see the movie "Rise of the Guardians" after we hit Target where sweet Kedzie was reading books to her brothers.  I love having additional readers in the family.  

After the movie, we had to hit the pool.  I'm happy to say that I didn't even have to get in the water.  The kids and Travis had a great time and I just got to sit, watch and listen.

So, all in all, we had a great weekend of celebrating my mom and the New Year.  I'm grateful for my understanding, sweet little family. They are simply the best.  I don't know what I would do without them.  Especially Travis.  He is the ying to my yang!  For that I'm intensely grateful.  

So, here's to another year. I'm hopeful that no close family members will die this year! I'm hoping to be healthier both emotionally and physically.  I'm hoping we will make wonderful family memories and live, laugh and love life and each other. 

So, here's to 2013!  

It's got to be great, doesn't it?  I think we all deserve it.