Oh Easter...

How glad I am that you are over, really, it was tough!

The fun was fun, but the rest was emotional!  The background info is this...a member of our ward passed away on Saturday morning leaving his wife, and his daughter and family who are in our ward as well.  Can you all see what's coming?!....PTSD!  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder!  I was doing really well with thinking about my mom passing until I realized that now my friend Jami is going through some of the same things I have gone through, and she just lived down the street from her dad.  So, I know it will be rough on her and it turned out to be rough on me as well.

I was making cinnamon rolls for Young Women on Sunday morning when I told Travis I just needed a minute and went to "write my mom!"  As I was writing, I got more and more and more emotional and wound up in my closet sobbing....sobbing because I missed my mom.  Sobbing because I couldn't call her and tell her how cute my kids were when they were finding eggs and candy all over the house.  Sobbing that I couldn't just hear her voice.  Sobbing that Jami was suffering. Sobbing that my Savior suffered for me.  Sobbing...I thought I was sobbing to myself but I forgot that Kedzie can hear through the wall of the closet to her room.  She immediately came to my rescue and told me to "breathe" and said "it will be okay."  All things that we've told her when she's been crying.  She even told me that I could call one of my Aunties if I wanted to or Karen and they would help me.  But, really it just felt GrEaT to cry!  I needed to cry and I did cry.

Then, I hiked up my dress and headed to church hoping that my heart was strong enough to make it through Easter Sunday.  It was and we made it through the day culminating in a visit to Jami and her mom and giving them big hugs and offering any support that they needed.  The funeral is Friday, I won't be attending just because I emotionally can't.  But, it's all good.

So, Easter was rough for me.  But, I made it through and I continue to make it through pretty well, each and every day.  My kids are clean and fed and educated and loved and my house remains lived in and Travis and I are still in love with one another, deeply.  Life is good.  I just miss my mom.

The joys of Easter had to do with my kids.  Here are some pictures of Egg coloring and Easter morning egg hunting and their cute Sunday clothes courtesy of Kathy Ravsten.  She's a good grandma.  Anyway, enjoy!  Love, EM